ON MY MIND: If I ruled the world

On My Mind | Maureen Burns

I’ve been thinking about how things oughtta be if I ruled the world.

Dogs would live lots longer. My dear Mulligan is now deaf and blind. He still loves to cuddle, but I think 14 years is not nearly long enough to have this little guy.

Parents would be able to spare their children pain. Yeah, yeah, I know it helps us grow, but if I ruled the world, I would adjust that.

If I ruled the world, eating raw onions would make your breath smell absolutely delightful. Kale would be as easy to enjoy and prepare as chocolate.

Summer would last a little longer. Winter would be only two months — December and January would about do it.

I would remember things that are really vital, instead of things that I don’t need to remember — like phone numbers of people I called 25 years ago.

Religions would all be kind and tolerant of each other. Countries would all be full of peace. Politicians would all work together for the good of their people.

Snakes would never ever visit my garden.

Bullies would immediately turn into really nice people and put love out into the world.

There would be an immediate end to all forms of child abuse – sexual, physical and emotional.

And lastly on my list, everyone would have a good sense of humor. Mel Brooks is one of the most silly comedians I have heard. He is delightful and has brought such fun stuff to our world. I just read a quote by him that made me laugh out loud. On a PBS documentary about him, he said, “I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.” And, of course, he truly is just that. If I ruled the world, there would be a lot more crazy fun people like him.

Personal note to Miley Cyrus: OK, we get it, you no longer want to be thought of as a squeaky clean Disney girl. We get the picture. Message received. Enough already!

 Maureen Burns is a professional speaker.  She will be speaking on “Change Happens — coping with change in our lives” on Friday, Sept. 13, from 10 a.m. to noon , at the Ash Technology and Learning Center, Greenville, Room G129. This is open to the public. 

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