ON MY MIND: ‘It’s a funny world, after all’

On My Mind | Maureen Burns

Recently, we were remembering being In a restaurant and one of our daughters decided to order something new, bread pudding. I love bread pudding, so I thought that was a good choice and grabbed a spoon. When it came, she took a bite and exclaimed disgustedly, “Yuck, this is just soggy bread.”

I thought that was funny. Recently I’ve heard several funny things out of the mouths of others.

The other day I saw a dear friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I asked her how she’d been.

She replied matter-of-factly, “Well, I’ve had the diarrhea. Other than that, I’m OK.”

Really? Me thinketh this may be more than I needed to know. We had a great laugh over her comment and I promised I would not use her name. Of course, if you ask me when I see you, I just might spill the beans to ya.

Right after her comment, someone opened a birthday card which brought the place down. It said, “Welcome to the ‘I hope that was just gas’ years.” Of course, not one of us could relate, but we sure did laugh heartily.

My husband had a funny thing happen this week. He was at Meijers and left his keys in a bathroom stall. He didn’t realize this, of course. He shopped, checked out and left the store. Then he found he couldn’t leave because he had no keys. Nor did he have a clue where they were. He went back into the store, retraced his shopping steps, looked through the check out lane, and then he remembered that he had used the restroom. He had to go all the way to the back of the store. Of course, he had been in a hurry, so he didn’t have time for any of this foolishness. When he got to the restroom, the stall was taken and it was taken for a long, long time. You can guess why. When the person finally exited the stall, my husband was able to grab his keys and be on his merry way. Why do these things always happen when you’re in a hurry?

Continuing down this road of funny things that have recently been in my world, my grandson is preparing for his first communion. First, they have to go to confession. He doesn’t like this idea very much. He was mulling it over with his mom and said, “Will I have to look him in the eye?” I love that. A great perceptive thought and question. Yes, indeed, this religion stuff isn’t always easy — even in the beginning.

I went to a new doctor the other day. His receptionist had a name tag on which read, “Maureen”. I don’t meet many Maureens, so I said how nice it was to meet one. She replied dryly, “Yeah, I haven’t seen any new ones.” New ones, how true. I loved the way she put it. Who has a baby and names it Maureen? Who has a baby and names it most of the names from my generation: Cathy, Carol, Nancy, Sandy, Linda, Barb, Gail, Gary, Roy, Sue, Don …  The list goes on and on. Perhaps in fifty years these names will be in vogue again. Right now, no way, Jose.

Tina Fey said, “You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.” I am not sure what that says about me and my weird sense of humor. I found all of the above anecdotes amusing. Perhaps you will, too. Perhaps not.

I will close by another fun quote. “Always be yourself unless you can be a unicorn — then always be a unicorn.” In this busy, crazy world, we have to find humor wherever we can. Even if it is weird, it is so good for our souls. Trust me.

Maureen Burns, a Greenville resident, is a professional speaker and author. Her e-mail address is maureenburns@maureenburns.com.

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