ON MY MIND: Where’s that pen?

On My Mind | Maureen Burns

Oh, man, sometimes don’t you do stuff that makes you wonder? Lately that is sort of my M.O. Are there any other people out there that shake their head at themselves?

It begins like this. The other day I am sitting in a chair and doing stuff. Stuff for me usually contains a pen. All of a sudden I can’t find my pen. I look all over — on the floor, in the cushions, around everything I am working on. I find no pen.

Then I decide I must not have had a pen. I must have imagined having a pen. That thought alone is crazy thinking. But when I can’t find it, I’m grasping. Yeah, that’s it. I must not have had a pen. It is amazing how we can believe things we tell ourselves, even when we know it is clearly crazy thinking.

Finally, I get up and go get a pen. I sit down and begin my stuff again. After a bit, I reach up, for some odd reason, and the lost pen is in my mouth. Yesiree-bob, all that time I was looking for the pen, it was hanging from my mouth. I kid you not.

I think that may trump looking for your glasses and finding them on your face. For some reason, having a pen hanging out of your mouth and not realizing it is there seems really wacko. Wacko — my new reality.

My Aunt Mary is about to turn 90. The other day she called and told me about her wacko friend. She said, “Every time I talk to her, I ask her what she is doing and she replies, ‘I’m looking for something.’” I gotta meet this friend. Clearly we can relate to each other.

As I talk with friends today, they are all discussing ideas on how to decorate their car antennas to be able to find them in the Meijer parking lot. They said it has gotten harder, though. Apparently many now do this so now you have to remember how you decorated your antenna to distinguish yours from all the other decorated antennas. Is nothing easy anymore?

My husband and I often chat. It, too, has gotten to be an ordeal. He says, “What did you say?” And of course, I have no idea. I really think I should only have to say it once. Isn’t that my job? Isn’t there some rule on this?

There is an old saying by Bill Lyon that says, “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” Do you think they are talking about losing stuff or just being a loser. I am going to hope it is losing stuff and that maybe I will get lucky and get something for all the stuff I lose.

Colette (whoever she is) said, “You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.”

OK, I am enthused. I am excited. I am pumped. Now where was that pen again?

 Maureen Burns, a Greenville resident, is a professional speaker and author. Her e-mail address is maureenburns@maureenburns.com.

Leave a Comment